Or actually it was just later that same morning, it just felt like the next day, Dr Halles came to do her rounds.
She checked my scar that was now quite a bit bigger that my first one was. I was also very bruised around the cut and my body felt stiff and sore. My cut was fine though and would heal well. She told me that my uterus was very thin and that she didn't cut open my uterus, it had openened by itself. If I had been in labour, she estimates, an hour longer, we would have had a really big emergency on our hands and a lot of damage. She asked me that I please wait at least two years between pregnancies to give my uterus enough time to heal.
She also said that the cord was wrapped very tightly around his neck.
My doctor came to check on me and asked me how I was feeling and how baby was feeding etc but nothing further.
The next day my doctor came in to check on me early. He washed his hands and as he was drying them he turned to me and said that he had read Dr Halles's notes. He told me that we very nearly had a disaster on our hands but there was no damage done and that my uterus should heal completely and I mustn't worry about any of this should I wish to fall pregnant again. He would advise though that next time I have an elective cesarean 10 days prior to my due date. He checked the cut again and my legs for any swelling, and everything was perfect.
I asked him why this happened and why once again, I didn't dilate, and why could he not come by himself? The doctor replied that the umbilical cord was holding him high. The head was not in my pelvis to help me dilate. I was contracting and because my contractions were so strong and on top of one another and I wasn't dilating something had to give...so what gave was the weakest place in my uterus; where the previous cesarean cut had been.
He said that he was happy that myself and the baby are all well and I musn't worry about anything and just take my time to heal and rest.
I know that little Logan would have been an emergency cesarean regardless of whether or not my first one could have been a natural birth. I am happy that I waited until my due date because I always would have wondered "what if." But I do feel quilty about the fact that I had subjected my unborn child to unnecessary danger. I now feel like chasing a birth experience I felt I was entitled to was selfish. My recovery this time round was a lot longer and I was in a lot of pain. The emotional recovery was alos a lot harder. But that's a whole new blog for another time.
Tuesday, 15 October 2013
The birth of baby #2
After what has been over six months since little Logi's birth, I am ready to tell his birth story.
I was scheduled for an elective cesarean on Logan's due date, the 26th of March.
The week or so leading up to the 40th week of pregnancy I was very uncomfortable, and in the evenings I got pains that shot down my groin and I had terrible lower back pain. Sometimes the pains would be so bad that I would start laughing and I was unable to move. During the day at times I would get braxton hix contractions so strong that I would start timing them as I thought I might actually be in labour.
Saturday the 23rd of March was no different to any other day other than the fact that I was particularly grumpy and uncomfortable. I was hot and bothered and I simply could not wait for Tuesday to come so my pregnancy would be at an end and I could hold my little boy. I had had as much as I could take.
I was sitting on the couch reading and dad was watching rugby that evening and I suddenly felt a 'pop' right down there. It was the strangest feeling and I am yet to find the right words to describe to people what I felt. I remember getting goosebumps all over my body and feeling a bit unsettled by it. I thought that either my membranes had ruptured, or well, my uterus had now stretched so far that it ruptured - I felt that big! I felt nothing further and brushed it off thinking that it was probably just the baby moving and perphas he kicked my pelvis. The rugby game had just finished so it was probably around 9pm.
A few minutes later a felt a little bit of fluid trickle out and I figured the baby had pressed on my bladder and made me leak a bit of urine. I got up quite annoyed with the fact that I felt that I have now even lost more control of my bladder and said "this is ridiculous" as I made my way to the bathroom.
I went to the toilet and it felt like my tummy needed to got, I was feeling a bit strange and crampy in my tummy, but not much was happening. As soon as I got up there was a gush of water between my legs and I just knew..all this time it was my water that had broken. I jumped in the shower as the water was still running out and called Alan. "We are having a baby tonight" I told him. "My water just broke." I was laughing but it was nervousness more than anything.
I was sure that there was still lots of time and at the time I didn't feel like I was really contracting yet. Alan started scrambling around packing the last few things that I was instructing him to put in the hospital bag and he seemed to be rushing around like a headless chicken not quite knowing how to organise himself. In the meantime I finished my shower and when I got out the fun started...the first real contraction hit and it was painfull as anything. Every time I contracted - about 5 minutes apart - more water rushed out. There I was in the room with only a top on and a towel between my legs because everytime I tried to pull my panties on they would get soaked. Eventually I realised I was fighing a losing battle and put my panties on with a maternity pad (I laugh at this now because I don't know why I thought it would help!) and my jeans.
Alan finally gained control and got everything ready. Including an overnight bag and the cot and everything he would need for little Bella who was still fast asleep at this stage. He packed the car and I was wondering around aimlessly trying to help and trying desperately to remember if there was anything I was forgetting.
An hour later Bella was strapped in the carchair, I was in the car breathing through contractions that were now about 3 to 4 minutes apart and we were on our way. I told Alan we had enough time to drop Bella off at his parents because my contactions were not that long and still manageable...but on the way to the hospital I quickly changed my mind. All of a sudden they were taking my breath away and lasting about 30 seconds each. Some longer than others. Alan phoned his parents to meet us at the hospital and put his foot on the gass. Somewhere in between contractions I managed to phone my parents to tell them that we were in labour and on our way to the hospital.
Oh yes, somewhere in between all the running around and packing and contracting we remembered that we did not have any pregnant pictures of me, so I stood in the corridor - Alan reminding me to smile - while he snapped a few pictures with his iPad.
I sat on a towel in the car because everytime I contacted more water came out. By the time we arrived at the hospital my jeans were soaked through all the way down to my knees. The contractions were becoming increasingly painful and as we stumbled into the hospital everything seemed so calm and quiet...especially when we walked into the maternity ward. We checked into a private room and I told the nurse on duty that I was booked for a cesarean for Tuesday but obviously baby decided to come earlier. I was handed a gown to change into and was hooked onto a fetal monitor so we could see how baby was doing. I was in a lot of pain and sweating but I felt okay and felt like I was handling everything. The nurse put a linen saver under me as I was still leaking with every contraction.
After completing and signing all the necessary forms things became a bit of a blur. Alan left to meet his parents and leave Isabella with them. And I was lying on the bed having the most intense contractions. It is hard to tell how far apart they were or how long they lasted. But if I think back they were about 2 minutes apart now and I could not breathe, let alone talk through the contactions.
The nurse that was prepping me for surgery looked at the monitor and commented "sjo, your contractions aren't even giving you a break."
Alan came back and was holing my had and trying to tell me how well I was doing but I wasn't even hearing him. All I could focus on was the pain and when the next contraction was going to hit. Another nurse popped her head in and reassured me that they are just getting the emergency surgery team together and it would be another 30 minutes. I clung to that bit of information....only 30 more minutes I kept repeating over and over in my head.
A nurse came do do and internal. She told me that she just wants to check my progress because here we are all calm and just now the baby is on his way. I was excited to hear how far I was dilated...I had to be at the very least 2 by now...I was hoping for 4. I was 1cm. That is as far as I ever got. She proceded to insert my catheter and it was very uncomfortable. Because it was an emergency cesarean they do it before you go into theatre instead of waiting until after the spinal. But I could feel in my gut that something was not right and that we needed to do the cesarean...It just felt like it was taking forever. I kept repeating to myself that 30 minutes more was all I had to wait and bear with.
Finally they fetched me and wheeled me into the labour ward. I briefly remember passing by Alan's parents and seeing Isabella's worried little face as she sucked her thumb. Alan was instructed to go and get dressed in his scrubs. They parked me outside the surgery and the anethetist went to do another girls epidural who was also there and dilating quickly so they had to do her first. Dr Halles, the on call doctor, came to talk to me. She took my hand and said she knew I was in pain and that it will be over soon. She asked me all kinds of questions about allergies, previous surgeries, and things like that but I can't even remember because I was in too much pain. I had turned on to my side and the contractions were now rolling in one after the other sometimes there wasn't even a break between the two. Alan tried to rub my back but I took his hand away, I didn't want to be touched. I told him at some point that if I contracted again I was going to vomit from the pain. He jumped up and called for one of the nurses who brought me a blue bucket.
Luckily just then after what felt like an eternity they wheedled me into the theatre. I got transferred onto the theatre table and was able to sit upright, and a whole lot of water gushed out. I remember the anethetis coming round and saying 'Wow, is this all amniotic fluid?' I apologised but they were all very reassuring and told me it was clear which was a good sign. I needn't apologise or worry about anything. I held onto the midwife as they told me to tell them when I had a break between contractions so they could do the spinal block.
I lay down on the table and relaxed as I felt no more pain. It was a big relief but I felt odd and a little ill. I watched as everyone went about their business until the spinal took full effect.
We are all ready now and all I wanted was to see my baby. I wasn't sorry for one second that I was lying on the operating table because I just wanted my baby to be born safely. The doctor started cutting and I could smell burnt flesh, Alan sat down in a chair next to me looking quite pale. Shame, afterwards he confessed that he couldn't handle the smell and nearly fell over. All the time in the operating room though he kept smiling at me reassuringly. What a rock!
The midwife told Alan to get ready with his camera as baby will be here soon.
They warned me that they were going to push hard on my stomach to get the baby out. They pushed down so hard that they nearly took all the wind out of me, twice. They were battling to get him out. I watched in the overhead lights and saw his head pop out. There was a brief cry and then it went silent. Someone said "wait, wait wait!" and "don't pull!" I could see the doctor struggling with something and looked at Alan. I kept asking if the baby was okay? No one really said anything. Alan put his hand on my shoulder and said everything was fine. But I wasn't convinced. I could see it on his face. I watched as I reallised that they were trying to cut the ambilical cord from around his neck. They managed and pulled him out and he started screaming. I looked at the clock and it was 12:35am. I was so relieved! They showed him to me and although a bit blue and quite an ugly little thing, he was perfect and they handed him to the pediatrician.
That's when his tummy started going and htye kept having to change the cloths while doing his check and it felt like I was watching them for a long time before they gave him to me. He looked so much like Isabella when she was born.
They doctor came up to my stand by my head when she finished stitching me up and told me that I needed to wait at least two years if I want another baby, my uterus had ruptured, but she will talk to me later in the morning.
They gave Alan our baby to hold while they shifted me onto my bed. They unswaddled him (he'd poohed again, poor thing) and put him on my bear chest so I could breastfeed. He latched straight away and started drinking. They wheeled me back to the maternity ward through the waiting area and stopped breefly so that Isabella could have a look at her new baby brother.
What a night. I would never want to relive it but I also would not want to change it.
I was scheduled for an elective cesarean on Logan's due date, the 26th of March.
The week or so leading up to the 40th week of pregnancy I was very uncomfortable, and in the evenings I got pains that shot down my groin and I had terrible lower back pain. Sometimes the pains would be so bad that I would start laughing and I was unable to move. During the day at times I would get braxton hix contractions so strong that I would start timing them as I thought I might actually be in labour.
Saturday the 23rd of March was no different to any other day other than the fact that I was particularly grumpy and uncomfortable. I was hot and bothered and I simply could not wait for Tuesday to come so my pregnancy would be at an end and I could hold my little boy. I had had as much as I could take.
I was sitting on the couch reading and dad was watching rugby that evening and I suddenly felt a 'pop' right down there. It was the strangest feeling and I am yet to find the right words to describe to people what I felt. I remember getting goosebumps all over my body and feeling a bit unsettled by it. I thought that either my membranes had ruptured, or well, my uterus had now stretched so far that it ruptured - I felt that big! I felt nothing further and brushed it off thinking that it was probably just the baby moving and perphas he kicked my pelvis. The rugby game had just finished so it was probably around 9pm.
A few minutes later a felt a little bit of fluid trickle out and I figured the baby had pressed on my bladder and made me leak a bit of urine. I got up quite annoyed with the fact that I felt that I have now even lost more control of my bladder and said "this is ridiculous" as I made my way to the bathroom.
I went to the toilet and it felt like my tummy needed to got, I was feeling a bit strange and crampy in my tummy, but not much was happening. As soon as I got up there was a gush of water between my legs and I just knew..all this time it was my water that had broken. I jumped in the shower as the water was still running out and called Alan. "We are having a baby tonight" I told him. "My water just broke." I was laughing but it was nervousness more than anything.
I was sure that there was still lots of time and at the time I didn't feel like I was really contracting yet. Alan started scrambling around packing the last few things that I was instructing him to put in the hospital bag and he seemed to be rushing around like a headless chicken not quite knowing how to organise himself. In the meantime I finished my shower and when I got out the fun started...the first real contraction hit and it was painfull as anything. Every time I contracted - about 5 minutes apart - more water rushed out. There I was in the room with only a top on and a towel between my legs because everytime I tried to pull my panties on they would get soaked. Eventually I realised I was fighing a losing battle and put my panties on with a maternity pad (I laugh at this now because I don't know why I thought it would help!) and my jeans.
Alan finally gained control and got everything ready. Including an overnight bag and the cot and everything he would need for little Bella who was still fast asleep at this stage. He packed the car and I was wondering around aimlessly trying to help and trying desperately to remember if there was anything I was forgetting.
An hour later Bella was strapped in the carchair, I was in the car breathing through contractions that were now about 3 to 4 minutes apart and we were on our way. I told Alan we had enough time to drop Bella off at his parents because my contactions were not that long and still manageable...but on the way to the hospital I quickly changed my mind. All of a sudden they were taking my breath away and lasting about 30 seconds each. Some longer than others. Alan phoned his parents to meet us at the hospital and put his foot on the gass. Somewhere in between contractions I managed to phone my parents to tell them that we were in labour and on our way to the hospital.
Oh yes, somewhere in between all the running around and packing and contracting we remembered that we did not have any pregnant pictures of me, so I stood in the corridor - Alan reminding me to smile - while he snapped a few pictures with his iPad.
I sat on a towel in the car because everytime I contacted more water came out. By the time we arrived at the hospital my jeans were soaked through all the way down to my knees. The contractions were becoming increasingly painful and as we stumbled into the hospital everything seemed so calm and quiet...especially when we walked into the maternity ward. We checked into a private room and I told the nurse on duty that I was booked for a cesarean for Tuesday but obviously baby decided to come earlier. I was handed a gown to change into and was hooked onto a fetal monitor so we could see how baby was doing. I was in a lot of pain and sweating but I felt okay and felt like I was handling everything. The nurse put a linen saver under me as I was still leaking with every contraction.
After completing and signing all the necessary forms things became a bit of a blur. Alan left to meet his parents and leave Isabella with them. And I was lying on the bed having the most intense contractions. It is hard to tell how far apart they were or how long they lasted. But if I think back they were about 2 minutes apart now and I could not breathe, let alone talk through the contactions.
The nurse that was prepping me for surgery looked at the monitor and commented "sjo, your contractions aren't even giving you a break."
Alan came back and was holing my had and trying to tell me how well I was doing but I wasn't even hearing him. All I could focus on was the pain and when the next contraction was going to hit. Another nurse popped her head in and reassured me that they are just getting the emergency surgery team together and it would be another 30 minutes. I clung to that bit of information....only 30 more minutes I kept repeating over and over in my head.
A nurse came do do and internal. She told me that she just wants to check my progress because here we are all calm and just now the baby is on his way. I was excited to hear how far I was dilated...I had to be at the very least 2 by now...I was hoping for 4. I was 1cm. That is as far as I ever got. She proceded to insert my catheter and it was very uncomfortable. Because it was an emergency cesarean they do it before you go into theatre instead of waiting until after the spinal. But I could feel in my gut that something was not right and that we needed to do the cesarean...It just felt like it was taking forever. I kept repeating to myself that 30 minutes more was all I had to wait and bear with.
Finally they fetched me and wheeled me into the labour ward. I briefly remember passing by Alan's parents and seeing Isabella's worried little face as she sucked her thumb. Alan was instructed to go and get dressed in his scrubs. They parked me outside the surgery and the anethetist went to do another girls epidural who was also there and dilating quickly so they had to do her first. Dr Halles, the on call doctor, came to talk to me. She took my hand and said she knew I was in pain and that it will be over soon. She asked me all kinds of questions about allergies, previous surgeries, and things like that but I can't even remember because I was in too much pain. I had turned on to my side and the contractions were now rolling in one after the other sometimes there wasn't even a break between the two. Alan tried to rub my back but I took his hand away, I didn't want to be touched. I told him at some point that if I contracted again I was going to vomit from the pain. He jumped up and called for one of the nurses who brought me a blue bucket.
Luckily just then after what felt like an eternity they wheedled me into the theatre. I got transferred onto the theatre table and was able to sit upright, and a whole lot of water gushed out. I remember the anethetis coming round and saying 'Wow, is this all amniotic fluid?' I apologised but they were all very reassuring and told me it was clear which was a good sign. I needn't apologise or worry about anything. I held onto the midwife as they told me to tell them when I had a break between contractions so they could do the spinal block.
I lay down on the table and relaxed as I felt no more pain. It was a big relief but I felt odd and a little ill. I watched as everyone went about their business until the spinal took full effect.
We are all ready now and all I wanted was to see my baby. I wasn't sorry for one second that I was lying on the operating table because I just wanted my baby to be born safely. The doctor started cutting and I could smell burnt flesh, Alan sat down in a chair next to me looking quite pale. Shame, afterwards he confessed that he couldn't handle the smell and nearly fell over. All the time in the operating room though he kept smiling at me reassuringly. What a rock!
The midwife told Alan to get ready with his camera as baby will be here soon.
They warned me that they were going to push hard on my stomach to get the baby out. They pushed down so hard that they nearly took all the wind out of me, twice. They were battling to get him out. I watched in the overhead lights and saw his head pop out. There was a brief cry and then it went silent. Someone said "wait, wait wait!" and "don't pull!" I could see the doctor struggling with something and looked at Alan. I kept asking if the baby was okay? No one really said anything. Alan put his hand on my shoulder and said everything was fine. But I wasn't convinced. I could see it on his face. I watched as I reallised that they were trying to cut the ambilical cord from around his neck. They managed and pulled him out and he started screaming. I looked at the clock and it was 12:35am. I was so relieved! They showed him to me and although a bit blue and quite an ugly little thing, he was perfect and they handed him to the pediatrician.
That's when his tummy started going and htye kept having to change the cloths while doing his check and it felt like I was watching them for a long time before they gave him to me. He looked so much like Isabella when she was born.
They doctor came up to my stand by my head when she finished stitching me up and told me that I needed to wait at least two years if I want another baby, my uterus had ruptured, but she will talk to me later in the morning.
They gave Alan our baby to hold while they shifted me onto my bed. They unswaddled him (he'd poohed again, poor thing) and put him on my bear chest so I could breastfeed. He latched straight away and started drinking. They wheeled me back to the maternity ward through the waiting area and stopped breefly so that Isabella could have a look at her new baby brother.
What a night. I would never want to relive it but I also would not want to change it.
Tuesday, 11 December 2012
The Time to Think
Luckily I had some time to think and process between doctor's appointments. I was very upset with my last post and just about ready to run off to a midwife. Luckily Dad let me vent on him when I poured my heart out and he listened very carefully and empathised. He really is the most amazing man on this planet!
Having my baby with a midwife at Genesis is an option that I don't feel is very feasible. It really is just too far away from home. There are other midwifes I suppose if I look hard enough in the area but to be honest I really don't feel the need to go to another hospital or get another care giver. Anyway, so when I had that sorted in my mind I decided that I would go to my next appointment armed with all sorts of questions and what if's and why not's. I also thought I needed to go armed with proper facts, not crap I read off websites, personal experiences and statistics from surveys conducted on other continents.
I found a research document done by a student at WITS university, and I am still getting through it - it is alot of reading and information. The more I thought about it, the more I narrowed my questions down that I had for the doctor, and the less defensive and self absorbed I felt. I just made one really big circle...and came back to what I wanted from word Go; should I go into labour prior to 40 weeks and all is healthy I would like to have a TOLAC, but am very happy with an elective cesarean booked at 40 weeks - on my due date. I have simply decided that the doctor will not convince me otherwise unless there really is a worrying complication or valid medical reason for having to do a cesarean sooner. And once again I feel happy, content and calm and am enjoying my pregnancy. I think about VBAC and all my options often but I also know what is best for my and my family and what everybody feels comfortable with. What are the odds really of me going into labour prior to 40 weeks anyway? I am not fighting for something that might very well not even happen or be worth the stress and reproaching feelings.
My next doctors appointment is on the 18th of December and I really am just looking forward to seeing my little man on the sonar screen again.
Having my baby with a midwife at Genesis is an option that I don't feel is very feasible. It really is just too far away from home. There are other midwifes I suppose if I look hard enough in the area but to be honest I really don't feel the need to go to another hospital or get another care giver. Anyway, so when I had that sorted in my mind I decided that I would go to my next appointment armed with all sorts of questions and what if's and why not's. I also thought I needed to go armed with proper facts, not crap I read off websites, personal experiences and statistics from surveys conducted on other continents.
I found a research document done by a student at WITS university, and I am still getting through it - it is alot of reading and information. The more I thought about it, the more I narrowed my questions down that I had for the doctor, and the less defensive and self absorbed I felt. I just made one really big circle...and came back to what I wanted from word Go; should I go into labour prior to 40 weeks and all is healthy I would like to have a TOLAC, but am very happy with an elective cesarean booked at 40 weeks - on my due date. I have simply decided that the doctor will not convince me otherwise unless there really is a worrying complication or valid medical reason for having to do a cesarean sooner. And once again I feel happy, content and calm and am enjoying my pregnancy. I think about VBAC and all my options often but I also know what is best for my and my family and what everybody feels comfortable with. What are the odds really of me going into labour prior to 40 weeks anyway? I am not fighting for something that might very well not even happen or be worth the stress and reproaching feelings.
My next doctors appointment is on the 18th of December and I really am just looking forward to seeing my little man on the sonar screen again.
Tuesday, 27 November 2012
The Upset
After my fetal anatomy scan and realising that I have a very healthy baby and pregnancy I have been feeling a bit upset about the discussion I had with my Dr at that time. I really feel like I am not being given a choice between cesarean and VBAC and that is not sitting right with me.
I even went and vented on the VBAC support forum.
Here are the posts:
Re: VBAC SUPPORT 1 week ago
Kiewiet I really look forward to reading your stories when you have the time. In the mean time hope you are enjoying your beautiful new bundle of joy!
Just an update from me; I am feeling rather vulnerable and upset after my last visit to my gynecologist.
We had the fetal anatomy scan & everything is perfect. I have a very healthy pregnancy, thick uterine wall, placenta is well out of the way. Baby boy is 500 grams already!
So we sit down again after the sonar and doctor asks me if I have decided on a birth date for baby yet?
And I just blink at him in surprise. So he goes ahead to say that well, I will be having a cesarean again this time and we usually do it 10 days before due date....I couldn't believe what I was hearing and my heart just sank. It was like we never even had the discussion about TOLAC two months ago!I told him that I strongly feel that the baby needs to stay inside until his due date and he agreed to only schedule cesarean for the 26th of March next year, which is right on my due date.
When I asked him again then about trying for natural should I go into labour before my due date he was definitely not for it at all!
And what's worse is he now scared my husband into believing the absolute safest and best way to deliver is by repeat cesarean. 
When we got home my husband said to me he was under the impression that we had agreed and decided on having a cesarean and he just straight out told me "no more natural birth". I understand his concern and I need to respect his feelings as well, so I don't know how I am going to convince him otherwise.To be very honest now I don't trust my doctor anymore. I asked him if I need to book the cesarean with his secretary and he said not to worry he sorts that out with the maternity ward....I don't know so much about that. Come 38 weeks he is going to find some reason to convince me to have the cesarean earlier.
So this morning I e-mailed midwife Hennie from Growth spurts again asking to book an appointment because I need to talk to someone about the facts and someone who can be very honest with me about my chances of actually achieving VBAC without any damage to me or baby.
I feel like I could just burst into tears. I was so happy and confident the last two months and now I feel like my gynea are just like the majority of others - promoting c-section! He is a surgeon trained in child birth, why did I not see the warning signs before? Things that he said before like: "80% of women who try for VBAC end up having a repeat cesarean again" - that's probably in his hospital because I know this fact not to be true! But I didn't argue, I just sat and nodded my head. "You're baby will be big and you're a small mommy, now you want to try and push him out." "When you get closer to your due date you might want the baby to be born earlier because you'll be tired and uncomfortable so you could ask to have the cesarean sooner."
I just really need some emotional support, because I know in my heart that I need to give natural birth a fair chance again and I will always be sorry if I don't! I cannot talk to anybody who understands, no one in my family and not even my husband.
It is just this unheard of dangerous thing that I want to attempt in their heads & I am being selfish for wanting to put myself and my baby and the rest of my family at risk. But doesn't normal childbirth in itself do just that?? Someone once said that a women is never as close to death as when she gives birth to a child! Just because I have had a cesarean before I now have to wear this label, where has people would not even have thought twice about it if this was my second natural birth.Re: VBAC SUPPORT 6 days, 2 hours ago
Monday, 19 November 2012
The Elective Cesarean Date
We went for the fetal anatomy scan on Friday. I was, according to my calculated due date, 21 weeks and 3 days the day of the sonar. I am not so sure if this is 100% correct. I keep having the feeling that I am further along already, but luckily the doctor is sticking to the due date being the 26th of March. The baby is already 500grams, with long arms and legs. We could see the little face so clearly even though it was only a 2D sonar and it just made me fall in love with this new little member of our family so much more! I cannot wait to see him for the first time, and hold him. I think that I will have a lot of hard work and little sleep ahead of me, but for now I just want to stay blissfully ignorant of what is to come and savor this wonderful feeling of excitement.
After the scan the doctor asked me if I had decided on baby's birthday yet, and I blinked at him in confusion. Then he continued to say that I will be having a cesarean this time and we normally book a cesarean 10 days before due date....it was like we never even had a conversation about this two months ago. Fair enough the doctor cannot remember everything about all his patients but I thought he would have made a note of what we had discussed. Did he not take me seriously. Anyway, I was adamant that baby should stay in until 40 weeks and luckily Dad backs me 100%. I then, again, asked the question about trying for vaginal birth should I go into labour naturally before this decided date. This time he sounded like he did not support it at all and completely advised against it. Dad was also a bit blind-sited and very suprised at my question as he thought that we had decided and agreed that cesarean was safer! What on earth? Am I living in my own little world here? I wasn't upset with anyone or anything, I just felt a little put out that now, should I do into labour I will definitely have a cesarean anyway. Look for some reason I don't think the chances of that happening before 40 weeks is very good but still, it is now a change of mind set for me now again, and one that I am not sure that I am comfortable or happy with.
I asked the Dr if I need to book the cesarean date with his secretary and he said not to worry he will sort that out with the maternity ward, and sort of brushed it off. Which is suspicious to me because last time I had to arrange for the induction a week prior with his secretary. She then phoned the maternity ward and booked. Perhaps elective cesareans work differently. Will he try and convince me otherwise closer to date to have the cesarean earlier? Al of a sudden I am feeling very unsure of my gynea. We have so much going on a the moment and I have had my fare share of stress so far so I really now don't want to worry about this now also. Come a year after baby is born I really don't want to wish like I had done things differently, I want to be completely at peace with how things happened and fell into place.
You know what, I am only 22 weeks along now, I still have lots of time, and right now I have got a good care giver that can take care of me and baby now.
After the scan the doctor asked me if I had decided on baby's birthday yet, and I blinked at him in confusion. Then he continued to say that I will be having a cesarean this time and we normally book a cesarean 10 days before due date....it was like we never even had a conversation about this two months ago. Fair enough the doctor cannot remember everything about all his patients but I thought he would have made a note of what we had discussed. Did he not take me seriously. Anyway, I was adamant that baby should stay in until 40 weeks and luckily Dad backs me 100%. I then, again, asked the question about trying for vaginal birth should I go into labour naturally before this decided date. This time he sounded like he did not support it at all and completely advised against it. Dad was also a bit blind-sited and very suprised at my question as he thought that we had decided and agreed that cesarean was safer! What on earth? Am I living in my own little world here? I wasn't upset with anyone or anything, I just felt a little put out that now, should I do into labour I will definitely have a cesarean anyway. Look for some reason I don't think the chances of that happening before 40 weeks is very good but still, it is now a change of mind set for me now again, and one that I am not sure that I am comfortable or happy with.
I asked the Dr if I need to book the cesarean date with his secretary and he said not to worry he will sort that out with the maternity ward, and sort of brushed it off. Which is suspicious to me because last time I had to arrange for the induction a week prior with his secretary. She then phoned the maternity ward and booked. Perhaps elective cesareans work differently. Will he try and convince me otherwise closer to date to have the cesarean earlier? Al of a sudden I am feeling very unsure of my gynea. We have so much going on a the moment and I have had my fare share of stress so far so I really now don't want to worry about this now also. Come a year after baby is born I really don't want to wish like I had done things differently, I want to be completely at peace with how things happened and fell into place.
You know what, I am only 22 weeks along now, I still have lots of time, and right now I have got a good care giver that can take care of me and baby now.
Wednesday, 7 November 2012
The Halfway Mark
I am halfway with my pregnancy now, and we found out that we are having a boy this time! :-) We are of course very happy with that - one of each - and I am so excited about having this baby that I almost want to start packing my hospital bag already!
With regards to VBAC, I continue thinking about it, following and contributing to the forum that I have mentioned before, even though I do not agree with a lot of things that these uninformed women believe and come up with. Some are are having successful VBAC's, others are having to book elective cesareans, oh you know, whatever works out for that person's pregnancy. There are no guarantees, that I learnt very quickly. I am definitely not as obsessed about this as I was when I just found out that I was pregnant 15 weeks ago.
I do however still feel very strongly about the fact that this baby needs to stay inside until 40 weeks. I just really hope that my gynecologist allows this. I realised that I don't really have Dad's full support for VBAC, which was actually not that much of a surprise. He is very skeptical about it, which I completely understand. Point is that if my gynecologist insists that I have an elective cesarean before 40 weeks for whatever reason, I don't know if I will have it in me to argue, especially if Dad is on the Dr's side as well. I know he just wants me - most importantly - and then the baby to be safe. Which is exactly what I want too. Basically if this little one decides to come on his own before the 26th of March 2013 I would like to try and have a normal birth, but with careful medical supervision. Anything after that I would like to book a cesarean. I am not playing the waiting game again just to have a cesarean. Plus it becomes more dangerous, statistically, after 40 weeks gestation. I do know for sure that I don't want to force anything that is not going to happen on it's own. I don't need to traumatise every one involved.
I also only have 4 month's maternity leave this time as well as whatever part of March is left when the baby comes. That is why, all going well, I want to work literaly until the day before I have the baby. Another reason why I don't want to go overdue - that will make the time in March that I have with my new little on so much shorter every day that I wait. That said though, I really don't think that the Dr will allow any waiting. We haven't discussed anything further with regards to VBAC and going to 40 weeks, but I don't feel the need to. I don't want to obsessively and continuously talk about it, there are too many unknowns. It will come up again when it has to closer to date. Perhaps this time baby might be breech or some other complication could arise and decide for us what the safest way of delivery is...you never know.
With regards to VBAC, I continue thinking about it, following and contributing to the forum that I have mentioned before, even though I do not agree with a lot of things that these uninformed women believe and come up with. Some are are having successful VBAC's, others are having to book elective cesareans, oh you know, whatever works out for that person's pregnancy. There are no guarantees, that I learnt very quickly. I am definitely not as obsessed about this as I was when I just found out that I was pregnant 15 weeks ago.
I do however still feel very strongly about the fact that this baby needs to stay inside until 40 weeks. I just really hope that my gynecologist allows this. I realised that I don't really have Dad's full support for VBAC, which was actually not that much of a surprise. He is very skeptical about it, which I completely understand. Point is that if my gynecologist insists that I have an elective cesarean before 40 weeks for whatever reason, I don't know if I will have it in me to argue, especially if Dad is on the Dr's side as well. I know he just wants me - most importantly - and then the baby to be safe. Which is exactly what I want too. Basically if this little one decides to come on his own before the 26th of March 2013 I would like to try and have a normal birth, but with careful medical supervision. Anything after that I would like to book a cesarean. I am not playing the waiting game again just to have a cesarean. Plus it becomes more dangerous, statistically, after 40 weeks gestation. I do know for sure that I don't want to force anything that is not going to happen on it's own. I don't need to traumatise every one involved.
I also only have 4 month's maternity leave this time as well as whatever part of March is left when the baby comes. That is why, all going well, I want to work literaly until the day before I have the baby. Another reason why I don't want to go overdue - that will make the time in March that I have with my new little on so much shorter every day that I wait. That said though, I really don't think that the Dr will allow any waiting. We haven't discussed anything further with regards to VBAC and going to 40 weeks, but I don't feel the need to. I don't want to obsessively and continuously talk about it, there are too many unknowns. It will come up again when it has to closer to date. Perhaps this time baby might be breech or some other complication could arise and decide for us what the safest way of delivery is...you never know.
Thursday, 20 September 2012
The 13 Week Gynea Visit
We went for our 13 week visit at Dr H on Tuesday.
Everything is great with the new babba, growing nicely & Dr said it will be a tall baby again - the legs are again measuring taller than average.
He tried very hard to get a look but he couldn't tell us if it was a boy or a girl. So now I have my fingers crossed again that it might be another girl. I would love to have two girlies.
At the end of the consultation, he asked if we had any question and this was the perfect opportunity for me to bring up my concerns about having an elective cesarean and VBAC. I was overjoyed to hear that he does support VBAC and if I feel I would like to try than he will give me a trial of labour. He said we could see how far we are willing to push out booking a cesarean and if it is safe to do so we can go to 40 weeks.
I was overjoyed to hear this because if my doctor would allow me to at least try then I would feel much safer doing it under his nose than going to Genesis.
I am still comfortable with booking an elective cesarean as the doctor said the risk for baby and mom is less than with an emergency cesarean. He also said the danger with VBAC is of course the 1% chance of uterine rupture, and even though it is small, if it does happen that puts baby and my life in a lot of danger and the emergency cesarean then will be much more traumatic.
It's interesting though, before I even said anything about midwifes, he said that he knows Genesis is one of the places that does do VBAC and he knows that they have lost babies with their attempts. He said he does not know if they have got an NICU now but he has heard of cases where mom and baby have to be rushed to Parklane hospital. So bottom line he would not recommend I go to Genesis.
I am just too happy that should I go into labour before 40 weeks and the conditions are right I can still try to have a VBAC. I really was very apprehensive about leaving my gynea should I really still wish to persue a TOLAC and wether or not I would be willing to trust a midwife above an obstetrician. I just never quite felt at ease with the idea. Midwifes are assistants, and sure they might have a lot of experiences etc, but they do not have the knowledge and the background that I believe an obstetrician has. I know my gynea is very good and I trust him with the most important thing in our lives. I am even more happy to stay with him now as he definitely is as understanding and accommodating as I perceived him to be.
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