I went to go visit my friend yesterday who had her baby just over three weeks ago. The most beautiful little boy that I have ever seen. Really he is just so perfect.
She gave birth to him vaginally. Her doctor feared that the baby was getting too big and suggested that they induce the day before her due date, otherwise they would do a cesarean. She went in on Monday morning, got induced, laboured for three hours until she got to 4cm's dilated, had an epidural, and two hours later she pushed out a healthy 3.4kg boy. She had minimal tearing.
Two work friends of hers also came by while I was there, with their little ones in tow. So we started talking about everyone's birth experiences, mostly because I asked. One women has a 5 month old girl that was born via elective cesarean that turned emergency cesarean & the other women had a cesarean 10 days before her due date because her boy was getting too big. He was 4.7kg when he came out. Wow!
The women that wanted an elective cesarean was scheduled at 39 weeks. She went in on the Wednesday before the scheduled date (the Friday) and the doctor saw that she had absolutely no amniotic fluid left, so baby had to come out right then. She said that she was a little upset because the doctor had seen her two weeks prior and said she only needed to see her then again (which was two weeks later). Next time she would insist that she go for weekly checks at the end. She said her birth experience was great and she has no regrets, she never wanted natural labour. She was able to breastfeed beautifully & she said she expressed so much milk she still has some in her freezer. She stopped breastfeeding at 4 months when baby went to chréche and took a pill to dry up her milk. She said it was three days of agony whilst waiting for her milk to dry up. Her baby suffered from re-flux in the first 6 weeks and cried a lot but is good as gold now.
The other mom didn't really say too much, just what I had mentioned earlier. She is in her late 30's already and quite a big and tall women. She mentioned that in her family all the babies are 4kg babies. She is from Dutch decent and she herself was a home birth in Holland. She mentioned that, I'm not sure if it's an Aunt or someone else in her family, pushed out her 4kg + baby & it completely ruined her body because she was a smaller women. She apparently applauded her for having a cesarean & not trying natural like she was forced into. She mentioned it is very common practice in Holland to give birth at home with a midwife & the infant mortality rates as well as the rate of retarded and brain damaged babies are soaring.
I must mention that her little guy is such a good boy. He is 11 months old and he sat there on the carpet playing and did not make a sound. When you talk to him me smiles at you and carries on. She said he just doesn't cry ever & is such a calm baby. She didn't mention much about breastfeeding but I thought I heard her say that she wished that she could have breastfed because she wanted to. She would sit and try and express for half an hour and get 10ml out, so it sounds like she gave it a good go...but I'm not sure.
My friend stopped breastfeeding at around 3 weeks. She didn't have enough milk at the beginning and after 10 days he was still only weighing 3kg (remember he was 3.4kg at birth but babies always lose a percentage of their weight in the few days after birth). She started topping him up with formula & tried everything to increase her milk supply; expressing, tablets, some herbal thing I think she called Jungle Juice, feeding him more often, but nothing. She said she really wanted to breastfeed him for as long as she could. He has colic & was battling with constipation from after he passed his meconium, which was strange because at that stage he was only getting breast milk.
I don't think I ever mentioned about me breastfeeding. I breastfed wonderfully up to 4 months. Battled a bit, okay a lot, with latching & cracked nipples in the beginning but I got advise, read up and persevered. At 4 months I wasn't producing enough milk for her needs anymore, even though I was at times feeding every hour, so I started topping up with formula (after talking to her pediatrician) & started solids. My milk dried up completely within a couple of days. I missed it and did want to breastfeed longer but on the other hand I was completely fine with not having milk anymore & being able to bottle feed her now. This meant Dad could start doing feeds as well, because I was never able to express enough for him to do night feeds. He really enjoyed it and still does the last bottle feed before he puts her down for the night.
Okay so, four different women in one room and four completely different experiences. All very healthy and happy babies, except for my friend, who seems a little despondent about her boy's colic at the moment but we all assured her it does pass even though it feels like it will never end now. Why I mention the breastfeeding is that this to me just proves once again that going through labour & having vaginal brith means absolutely nothing and has no relevance to how you will breastfeed & weather or not you will have a colic baby.
Another friend of mine, the one with the ADD theory, gave birth vaginally with the help of a midwife and Oxycontin after going into spontaneous labour at 39 weeks. After 13 hours her 2.2kg baby girl was out. She said she had lots of colostrum & a lot of milk, expressed lots, fed beautifully with the aid of nipple caps & at 5 months she told me her milk just dried up completely. She does not have a drop left she tells me sadly. At 4 months she wasn't producing enough for her baby's needs and started her on solids - the créche she started her at told her that she's hungry during the day & needs more food. Now she has formula only & solid foods. I remember her bragging about how she would exclusively breastfeed for 6 months and be able to do so because she had natural labour. I won't remind her of this, that would be ugly.
Once again I conclude it does not make a difference in the large spectrum of things how your baby comes into this world; whether you push it out through your vagina, choose to have a cesarean or end up with an emergency cesarean or a planned cesarean despite the fact that you actually wanted natural birth, your baby will still be the same baby. It is your unique body and the way it functions can never be predicted, your capabilities and instincts as a mother as well as the nature of your baby that counts. Women seem to forget that genetics have a lot more to do with reproduction than how you birth your baby.
My baby slept through at 8 weeks (from 6pm to 5am, no jokes!) and now sleeps from 7pm to 7am and 8am on weekends sometimes. Everyone with kids tells us how jealous they are of us. My ADD theory friend still gets up twice a night for her baby (who is almost 6 months) & battles to get her to sleep. I thought baby's pushed through your vagina are suppose to be little perfect angels. Their not, they're babies, just like everyone else's.
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