The Information Overload

My head is going to explode!

For the past two weeks, every opportunity I get at work I google VBAC, C-section, Repeat C-section....forums, articles, research....

There are so many stories & so much information out there.  I've also come to quite enjoy Dr Amy's blog http://www.skepticalob.com/

I have come to the realisation to TOLAC or not to TOLAC is a very personal decision.  A lot of women out there, it seems to me, are looking for other women in exactly the same situation as them, with the same circumstances, want to know what they decided and how it turned out.  Unfortunately a lot of Forums are one-sided and incomplete and you never get to know how things turned out.  Even the VBAC support thread I am still following on moomies.co.za; I have asked two women who previously posted on the thread, for their stories whatever it my be, with no response.  I can only assume they do not check the forum anymore or do not get the correspondence.

So here is my decision.  I am very much at peace with having a repeat elective cesarean and was almost tempted today to cancel my midwife appointment.  I still think, however, that it is a good idea to talk to her and get yet another point of view.  The biggest reason for me for going with this decision this is I am not really prepared to accept the risks associated with VBAC and the complications that could or could not occur.  There is no guarantee that I will go into labour & I might very well end up with a repeat emergency cesarean which I fear will be even more traumatic.  There are too many 'if's' and 'but's' and variables for my analytic nature.

I am very fond of my gynea and I trust him completely.  Netcare Sunninghill Hospital where I birthed my first little one at is a fantastic and a very well equipped and staffed hospital.  I like the comforting feeling that that familiarity gives me.  Another reason is I know that this is what Dad feels the most comfortable with as well.  This is not only my child but his as well and therefore not only my decision.  I always joke and say that I only have 50% shares in what is growing in my uterus.  I love him dearly and I would hate to put him through any kind of trauma.

I am still so early in my pregnancy - 10 weeks this week - and a lot can happen still, but in my heart I know that this is the right decision for me and for everyone in my family, not for anyone else who might read this, or might feel they are is a similar situation or have similar circumstances.